Monday, June 1, 2009

CTV, Get Over Yourself Bitch!

Ok, I've done my homework. According to Stats Canada 87% of Canadians have cable TV as of 2005. Who's with me on the fact that this percentage has unlikely decreased? I didn't care for cable much 4 years ago, now it's digital or nothing. It's cheaper today to have cable than ever if you take into account the fact that most people have bundles for their phone and internet too. Bear with me, I'm just laying some groundwork.

So now you- CTV are asking cable providers to pay for what is free to every Canadian with a television. Huh? Not only that, you're reporting this as news! Dudes, if anything the real news has to be unbiased! Or did we stop being a democracy at some point and I missed it? We do have something called the CTRC and I hope they grill your ass over some burning coals. Not only that it's in the charter that cable providers have to air CTV, CBC, and Global. Mind you, CBC and Global don't seem to have any problem with this situation. I wonder why? Could it be that they didn't overbid on the Olympics? Maybe it's the fact that they don't pay millions of dollars to air American shows that are aired on other channels- that would be cable (the thing that at least 87% of Canadians have)? So now you want someone else to pay for your bad business sense. Too bad fuckers, why don't you try making better Canadian shows? Or would that mean having to be creative and working hard. Well we wouldn't want you to do that. No really we don't, so far you have pulled off few stellar attempts. Hey I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Southland, but Instant Star? Instant change the channel.

But what's even more baffling is you want your own owners to pay themselves. That's right- Bell Canada; the largest cable provider in Canada owns 20% of your ass. This is how I think of it: I have a phone and I own it, but I don't own the line. I don't make myself pay me everytime I use it. I pay for the privilege of having the damn thing hooked up to something that links me to the world. So wouldn't it make sense that you pay the cable companies to air your channel? But you don't have to, the CTRC made it so.

This is what I think should happen. Cable companies should have the option to pay to air you if they want to, or drop you all together. That means that, as I repeat myself, over 87% of Canadians can unhook their cable and plop some bunny ears on if they want to watch CTV. Hmmm, how many people are going to do that? Anyone? Right- the Live at Five die hards. Do they even exist?

So that's it bitch, get over yourself. Britney Spears didn't embarras herself as much as you are.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

You Can't Call it a Dollar Store if it Doesn't Cost a Dollar!

Ok, we all know the Dollarama is now selling stuff for $1.25 or $2. Why? How come two months ago it was worth a dollar but now it's worth more? AND how do you decide what should cost more? Let's be serious everything in the store is either discontinued shit from other companies that you bought for a pittance, or it was made for "Dollarama" in China. Actually the same stuff is sold at the Everything for a Pound Store in the U.K., The 100 Yen Store in Japan, etc. The same children are making this "crap" for worldwide distribution. And hey, admit it, if it weren't for child labour laws in China we wouldn't have half of what we own, so get over it. But I always used to sing "When you're alone and life is getting you down you can always the Dollar Store!". We all do it. Heck I know multi millionaires who do (well one, but she does do it). Now, I don't know, it's still a deal, but I just don't spend as much. $5 doesn't buy me as much useles shit joy anymore. Maybe their marketing team needs to re-think things, 'cause if it doesn't cost a dollar, the Dollarama name doesn't carry the same spark.
Of course if you follow that logic you also shouldn't be able to buy multiple things for a dollar....So I'll shut up now lest that ends up being trashed too!
Oh Dollarama, why did you have to change?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

People use Parking Lots Too!

Are you a driver or a pedestrian? Have you ever tried walking through the parking lot of a shopping centre? Chaos! When I got my liscence it was still a law that one had to indicate before turning. Apparently this is not the law when it comes to pedestrians. Yes we need to indicate where we are going- that's not what I mean. Drivers just don't seem to think it worth the effort to use their indicator when they are faced with a pedestrian. Holy bad timing Batman! You are in a vehicle made of steel that could crush me so easily; I am not.
When it's raining or snowing, it's even worse. Now I'm freezing, cold, and wet while trying to play dodge-car through a parking lot. Just hold steady Trigger- all I need is some catfood, this can't be that hard. Flick the switch, let me know what's up. Or hey- INDICATE that I can go and get out of the storm.
Regardless of the weather, at the end of the day you're sitting in a climate controlled, moving, musical, little bit of comfort and you scare me.